It’s a peculiar human instinct: sitting together to share a meal. From casual meals with friends and dinner parties to holiday feasts and family gatherings, eating together is so deeply ingrained in our culture that it often goes unremarked. However, societal concerns about declining family dinners or losing shared meals usually make their way into the headlines. Such discussions are far from a new phenomenon; evidence suggests that this fear of losing communal eating traditions may stretch back at least a century. But why is eating together so essential to us, and why does it hold such power?
When Did Humans Start Eating Together?
The tradition of sharing food likely goes back long before the emergence of Homo sapiens. Our closest primate relatives, chimpanzees, and bonobos, are known to share food within their social groups, a practice that predates human existence. However, sociologist Nicklas Neuman from Uppsala University in Sweden points out an important distinction: “You can distribute food as an object without sitting down and eating with others.” It’s not just about giving food to those close to us; it’s about the shared act of eating itself, which carries additional complexity in human society.
The first communal meals among human ancestors may have occurred around a campfire. While we don’t know precisely when cooking was first discovered – estimates range from 1.8 million years ago to much more recently – the effort involved in hunting, gathering, and cooking over fire suggests that such practices likely occurred within established social groups. Once people began cooking together, eating around the fire could have extended social interactions into the night, speculates Robin Dunbar, a biological anthropologist at the University of Oxford. “Those extra hours in the day may have been golden opportunities for social bonding over food,” he speculates.
How Does Eating Together Impact Our Wellbeing?
Eating together has more than just practical implications. As Dunbar discovered in a 2017 study, eating with others is directly linked to higher levels of life satisfaction and more robust social support networks. The study surveyed UK people, asking how often they shared meals with others. Dunbar’s statistical analysis showed that eating together more frequently correlated with greater happiness and having more friends to turn to for support. It wasn’t simply a result of already having solid social ties; the meals appeared to be a catalyst for these positive social effects.
Why does this happen? According to Dunbar, eating triggers the brain’s endorphin system, which is crucial in building bonds between individuals. “Eating together as a group ramps up the endorphin effect like jogging together does. This is because synchronized activity increases endorphin output by a factor of two,” Dunbar explains. It’s a social bonding mechanism with deep evolutionary roots, connecting us to those we eat with and the very act of eating itself.
Can Eating Together Build Trust and Cooperation?
The social power of eating together isn’t limited to emotional well-being; it also extends to trust and cooperation. In one study, researchers found that participants in an investment simulation were more willing to give money to someone with whom they had previously shared candy.
This effect extends to negotiation as well. Those who had shared snacks were quicker to reach a satisfactory resolution than those who hadn’t. This behavior may be a relic from an earlier time when sharing similar tastes in food could signal shared values. Food may have once been a more overt marker of connection and trust between individuals.
Can Shared Meals Reveal Power Dynamics?
However, not all shared meals are positive experiences. The social dynamics around food can reveal power imbalances or act as a stage for control and dominance. Feasts, for example, are often more than just an occasion for indulgence; they can be choreographed events where one person or group asserts authority. Consider a harvest feast where a landowner provides a grand meal for their workers – or the office party where employees closely scrutinize an employer’s generosity or lack thereof.
Regular family meals, often considered a cornerstone of good social and emotional health, can also be fraught with tension. Neuman notes, “If you ask them, people will say they enjoy having shared meals with friends and loved ones. But it can also be a horrible experience to eat together with loved ones. It’s a place for control and dominance as well.” Meals where people are constantly criticized, whether about their food choices or appearance, can erode the well-being that eating together might otherwise promote.
Do Elderly People Need to Eat Together to Feel Happy?
Interestingly, some people have differing views about the necessity of eating together. Neuman’s ongoing research on older adults in Sweden reveals a surprising finding: many elderly individuals don’t feel bothered by eating alone. While they enjoy shared meals, the absence of regular companionship at the dinner table does not negatively affect their well-being as much as one might expect.
Neuman offers a possible explanation: “Maybe that has to do with whether they already suffer from loneliness. A solitary meal might amplify someone’s discomfort.” However, for people who typically share meals with others, having the occasional solitary meal is a welcome respite. “If you are a person who often eats with others, then probably, once in a while, it would be nice to sit by yourself and read,” he adds.
Conclusion: What Role Do Shared Meals Play in Our Lives?
Eating together is a practice that has shaped human society for millennia, fostering social bonds, trust, and emotional well-being. Yet, as with many social rituals, it is sometimes a simple or universally positive experience. Sharing food has deep evolutionary significance, but it can also bring to light control, criticism, and loneliness issues. Whether it’s a joyful family gathering, a competitive office party, or a solitary meal by choice, eating together remains one of our most complex and powerful social behaviors.
