Why Is This Reunion So Painful?
Clutching Monica Thatte, midwife Siro Devi is inconsolable. In her late 20s, Monica returned to her birthplace—the little Indian village where Siro spent decades delivering children. Deep, unresolved grief and a sinister past abound at this reunion.
What Was the Dark Legacy of Infanticide?
Siro and other Indian midwives were under tremendous pressure to kill baby females before Monica was born. The Katihar area of Bihar was rife with this sad custom. Families that considered girls as financial obligations because of the dowry system forced the midwives into murdering these babies. As records indicate, Monica is among the females Monica managed to save.
Interviews with Siro and four other midwives in 1996 exposed shocking behaviour. An NGO’s analysis claims that midwives like Siro participated in the murder of more than 1,000 infant girls yearly in one area. Although the midwives acknowledged murdering several newborns, the precise count is unknown because of the data-collecting techniques.
How Did the Coercive Environment Affect the Midwives?
The eldest midwife asked Hakiya Devi, who admitted to having killed between 12 and 13 newborns. Dharmi Devi acknowledged a far higher count—15 to 20. Hakiya described the horrific reality: “The family would lock the room and stand behind us with sticks.” We already have four or five daughters, they would reply. This will completely wipe off our fortune. We shall starve to death after we pay our ladies dowries. Another girl has just been born here now. Execute her.
Midwifery is deeply ingrained in rural India and is frequently guided by the terrible reality of poverty and caste. The midwives I met from lower castes found it almost challenging to refuse demands from strong upper-caste households. With the delivery of a girl earning half the money granted for a male, the midwives got pitiful remuneration for their efforts.
What Is the Impact of the Dowry System?
India’s dowry system drives the disparity in treatment between males and girls. Though banned in 1961, the practice continues, and many families find the delivery of a girl to be a financial strain. Still a vital requirement for marriage, a dowry might include cash, jewels, or utensils.
Siro Devi described this difference: “A boy is above the ground—higher.” A daughter is under—lower. They all desire a boy, whether or not a son feeds or looks after his parents.
How Did the Midwives Begin to Change?
A change was in progress toward the end of the 1996 filming session. Inspired by committed social worker Anila Kumari, the midwives started objecting to orders to murder. Anila asked, “Would you do this to your daughter?” The midwives related to this question helped to cause the practice to close gradually.
Thinking back on this shift, Siro Devi said, “Now, whoever asks me to kill, I tell them: ‘Look, give me the child, and I’ll take her to Anila Madam.'” Anila’s action helped the midwives to save at least five baby girls. One kid passed away; the others were adopted via an NGO from Patna, the capital of Bihar.
What Happened to the Adopted Babies?
These adoptions may have marked the narrative’s conclusion, but I was driven to discover what happened to these girls. Anila’s painstaking records showed that she had named the rescued girls using the prefix “Kosi,” referring to the Kosi river in Bihar. Having worked with the NGO, Medha Shekar thought Monica, given this prefix, was among the saved newborns.
Though the adoption agency forbids access to Monica’s data, circumstantial evidence suggests she is among the spared children. When I visited her relatives in Pune, some 2,000 kilometres away, Monica thanked her lovely adoptive family. She remarked, “This is my concept of a normal, happy existence, and I am living it.”
What Was the Significance of Monica's Visit to Bihar?
Monica visited Bihar early this year to see Anila and Siro. For Monica, this was an opportunity to respect the efforts of Anila and the midwives. “Someone studies extensively to pass a test. I like that. They worked hard; today, they are eager to see the outcome. So most absolutely, I would like to meet them.
When Monica met Anila, she shed happy tears; Siro’s response was more nuanced. She hugged Monica close and stroked her hair, then started to cry. “I brought you [to the orphanage] to rescue your life. Siro stated, her feelings a combination of relief and unresolved guilt: “My soul is at peace now.”
How Does Prejudice Against Baby Girls Persist?
Even with improvement, there is still discrimination against infant girls. Though sex-selective abortion has been outlawed since 1994, it is still a significant problem, even if allegations of infanticide are now rare. Sohar, a traditional folk song, still honours the birth of male children. Changing these songs to honour females presents complex challenges even now.
Two abandoned newborn girls were found in Katihar while filming—one in the woods and another beside the road. One infant perished; the other was adopted. Monica saw this infant at the Special Adoption Center in Katihar before leaving Bihar. She was profoundly moved and understood the cycle of abandonment remained in effect. “This is a cycle.” I can picture myself there a few years ago, and now, once more, there are some females like myself.
What Is the Hope for the Future?
Another better result was also present. A couple in Assam took up the abandoned infant and called Edha, which means happiness. Gaurav, her adopted father, an Indian Air Force officer, said their dedication: “We saw her photo, and we were clear—a baby once abandoned cannot be abandoned twice.”
Gaurav emails me videos of Edha’s development daily; occasionally, I show Monica these. When one considers the past thirty years of this narrative, one realizes that although it cannot be undone, it can be changed. Hope for a brighter future rests in this metamorphosis.
